5 good first-date ideas and 5 ideas to avoid

Planning a first date can be a daunting task. Chances are you don’t know your date that well yet, so what are good possible date ideas where you can get to know each other better and avoid awkward silences? In this article, I will list 5 date ideas you should avoid and the best 5 date ideas you can replace them with. 

Avoid: Walk in the park, replace with: Picnic in the park

Why you shouldn’t go for walks in the park:

• It sounds boring and low-effort. What are you going to do when you’ve done two laps? Because you’re just walking it can be hard to think of topics to talk about, especially if the conversation doesn’t flow naturally.
• Because it’s so open-ended, it’s easy to get stuck during the date. For example: do you ask to go for drinks or lunch? Ice cream? What do you do when it’s almost dinner time and you don’t feel like going out for dinner? How do you cut off the date without making it awkward? 

Why a picnic in the park makes for a better date idea:

• You can still go for that walk and find a nice spot to sit down and open your picnic basket. It shows more effort from your side, and you can positively surprise your date with your preparations.
• You can show more of yourself, by packing your favourite snacks, drinks, maybe a bottle of wine. This may also lead to conversation starters, which can make keeping the conversation flow better. That way, you can also find out more about your date’s likes and dislikes.

Avoid: Bowling, replace with: Minigolf

Reasons why bowling is a bad idea:

• You can’t talk much. Bowling with two people requires both people to bowl almost the entire time. 
• Your arms will get tired. Bowling balls are heavy!
• Bowling alleys aren’t the most romantic of places. You’re both wearing shoes that hundreds of other people have worn before you, you constantly watch the scoreboard and there’s loud, kids-oriented music playing.
• Usually, you rent a bowling alley by the hour. Worst case scenario: you’re both watching the clock until the time’s up and you can go home. 

Why you should opt for minigolf instead:

• Minigolf is slower-paced. You can take some time to talk when it’s your turn, and you can participate in each other’s turns more than with bowling.
• You can work together more than during a bowling game. Also, you can stand closer together (to show the right techniques, of course).
• At glow-in-the-dark minigolf places, it’s dark around you. That creates a more intimate setting and provides more privacy, to steal a quick kiss without everyone in the room noticing.
• Minigolf is not time-based. You finish the course (or not) and you move at your own pace.

Avoid: Cooking for them, replace with: Baking together

Why you shouldn’t cook at your first date:

• It can be intimidating if you’re meeting someone for the first time, and they insist on cooking for you. Do you want your date to keep you company in the kitchen, or do you need a lot of space around you? Can you do two things at the same time: cooking while conversing with your date? 
• Cooking on a date has many caveats. Do you know if your date has any (severe) food allergies or intolerances, can you prevent cross-contamination? What about religious or personal dietary restrictions? 
• There’s also considering the food you’re going to make. You want something easy to make, so you won’t have to spend three hours in the kitchen, but also something that impresses your date, preferably doesn’t leave a gigantic mess, isn’t too heavy on the stomach (for obvious reasons), etcetera etcetera. 

Why should you bake together, instead of cooking for them:

• Baking is a lot less serious than cooking. Baking doesn’t necessarily have to be healthy, complicated or impressive. Many people don’t bake that often, especially if you live alone. 
• Baking can be less daunting than cooking. All you need for many recipes is butter, flour, sugar and eggs. Add some fruits, cheese, nuts or spices and you’re ready to go! 
• At the end of the date, you can surprise your date with the leftovers. Taking a batch of cookies home is a lot easier (and more fun, let’s be honest) than half a lasagna. 

Avoid: Drinks at a bar, replace with: Arcade or boardgames cafe

Why having drinks at a bar isn’t a good first date idea:

• Again, it’s not very original, it’s only suitable for evening dates (unless you’re into day drinking), and it’s not a right fit if your date doesn’t drink or doesn’t like to drink on first dates.
• If the bar is busy and/or plays music, it can be difficult to hear each other. What good is a first date if you can’t get to know each other?
• If the conversation goes stale, there’s not that many distractions. You’re both seated, unmoving, and especially if you’re sitting across from each other, it can be intimidating to keep staring at the other person.

So, why is an arcade or a board game cafe a good alternative?

• Who doesn’t like games? Even if you’re bad at arcade games and/or board games (like me), it’s still lighthearted fun to play some laser air hockey or a game of 30 seconds. 
• It gives you an easy subject to talk about and you can show off your game skills, competitiveness or supportiveness. You don’t have to be good at the game yourself, you can also cheer your date on! It shows you pay attention and want them to have a good time.
• Arcades usually have dim lighting (see the pros of glow-in-the-dark minigolf), and board game cafes usually have a bit more relaxed atmosphere without loud music. Both provide you with better opportunities to talk to your date.

Avoid: Watching a movie, replace with: Go to a museum

Why you shouldn’t invite your date to watch a movie:

• Uninspired. Going to the movies is known as the single worst date idea: you both sit stationary in a dark room and you aren’t allowed to talk. Save the movie dates for the future, when you’re past the getting-to-know-each-other-phase. 
• Watching a movie at home isn’t any better. Even if it’s not your intention, it comes across as a “Netflix and chill” invite. It’s totally fine if that’s your goal, but it’s not the best move when you want to get to know someone better. 
• It isn’t very romantic. Your date can go to the movies with literally everyone else: her friends, family, and colleagues. There’s nothing special about seeing a movie with someone, and it might reflect negatively on you and the date as a whole.

Why going to a museum is a better alternative:

• You can walk around, talk about the artworks, and move in closer together (see a pattern here?). If you’ve ever been to a museum, you know there are always countless couples present. They walk together, whisper in each other’s ear, and hold hands while staring at an artwork. Museums have improved a lot and don’t have to be boring at all. 
• Museums are diverse! Sure, there are art museums (modern art, Greek/Roman art, folk, abstract art, etc.), but also science museums, natural history museums, regional museums, and even social media or Instagram museums where you can take great photos of yourself and your date.
• Museums are usually located at prime locations. After the museum, you can have drinks at the museum cafe, or go for a walk on the museum grounds or nearby city park. And if you want to end the date, it’s a natural ending to say your goodbyes after you’ve seen all the exhibits.

In summary

My advice: avoid the old, worn-out date ideas such as going to the movies, having lunch or dinner or walking in the park. Opt for activities that allow you to move, provide a relaxed atmosphere so you can talk with your date, and give you plenty of opportunities for extending the date. And remember, even after a perfect date, things might not work out.

Featured image by Alice Bitencourt from Pixabay