What to do if you don’t have any big dreams in life?

When we’re young, we often have big dreams as children. I still have an old friendship book from primary school, one of the questions was what your dream was for the future. Every kid had a dream back then, they wanted to become a firefighter, a pilot, a nurse or a mother. I wanted to become a writer. But as I got older, I realized that the big dreams that I used to have, I don’t have any longer. Adult life is much less exciting than I thought it would be, and all the freedoms you have as an adult also bring many responsibilities. In this article, I will advise you on how to deal with not having any big dreams. This article will provide you with answers to the following questions, such as:

What is a dream?
What are the definitions of a dream?
How can dreams be different?
What to do if your dreams change?

What is a dream exactly?

I always thought that having a dream was wanting to become or have something, and feeling eternally happy and grateful because of it. I used to think that if I achieved my dream, of becoming a published writer, I wouldn’t have another care in the world. I would just live my life floating on a pink cloud, absent of worry about money, family, health or anything else. Life was a checklist and if you made it to the ultimate point on the list, the ‘big dream’, all would be well.

Of course, as I grew older, I realized that life doesn’t work that way. There is no checklist, and even if there is, the list resets every day. Every day you have to wake up, prepare your meals, go to school or work, and do all those things. For the largest part of your day, you won’t even have time to do your hobbies or things you enjoy.

The definition of a ‘dream’

But what is a dream exactly? Merriam-Webster provides a whole list of synonyms for dream

1: a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep (compare REM SLEEP)

2: an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream: such as

a: a visionary (see VISIONARY entry 1 sense 2a) creation of the imagination: DAYDREAM
b: a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality: REVERIE
c: an object seen in a dreamlike state: VISION

3: something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality

a : a strongly desired goal or purpose
b : something that fully satisfies a wish: IDEAL

The real meaning of dreams in life

As you can see in the synonyms above, there are many different meanings for dreams in life (excluding the definition of a dream when you’re asleep). The way I used to look at dreams was according to the definition of an ‘ideal’.

But what if dreams don’t have to be anything like that? Maybe the dreams in life don’t feel that big because they’re not all-encompassing, not completely satisfying every aspect of life, but they’re still dreams. I like the definition listed above, ‘a strongly desired goal or purpose’. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to become CEO, a business owner, or the literal best advisor in your work field. It’s fine to want to do well at your job, earn enough money to sustain yourself and buy a farm when you reach retirement age. Maybe your dream is to start a family one day, or you want to have four cats. It’s not necessary to save the world, win a Nobel prize or even become the very best at what you do. Good enough is fine too.

What do you do if your dreams change?

As we get older, it’s only natural that our ideas of the future and our wishes and dreams also change. Some people still have their childhood dreams and maybe achieved them, whereas other people never fulfilled their dreams, or their dreams changed. I knew a kid in middle school who always dreamed of becoming a pilot, but because of his colourblindness already knew he would never achieve that dream. Every year, countless amounts of students start a certain university course, only to realize that they don’t want to finish their studies or work in that particular field. Every day, people start new jobs that they won’t stay at for longer than a year.

Not fulfilling your dream or changing your dream is not a failure. The future is always changing, and so do people. You probably aren’t the same person you were twenty years ago, two years ago, or even a month ago. Sometimes, you fulfil your dream and you realize it wasn’t what you expected. Sometimes, life gets in the way and you change course. It’s all good.

What to do if you don’t have any dreams at all?

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by everything you have to do on a day, to work, to stay healthy, to do chores around the house, to stay in touch with the people you love and to stay updated on what happens in the world. There have been times in my life when I felt like I was surviving, and every day felt almost too heavy to bear. When you feel like that, it’s fine to focus on small goals and quick wins. Get through today, then think of tomorrow. There will become a time when the sky gets clearer and you’ll breathe more easily. Then, new dreams will come up on their own. Or not.

In summary

Big dreams don’t have to be large in scale. Big dreams can also be small things, shared moments of happiness, or even just feeling a bit lucky sometimes. Dreams can be wanting your loved ones to be happy and healthy, to live in a nice house one day. To have two kids and a dog, to have a nice job with kind colleagues. It can be wanting to read that book that you’ve been saving for the past two years, it can be lying on the couch under a blanket. Maybe, it’s just getting through today, and then tomorrow, and then the day after that.

Remember, just because you were once a kid who thought very different things and had different ideas of the future, doesn’t mean that it was all nonsense. One of the other questions in my old friendbook said: What do you wish for the owner of this friendbook? And most kids answered: A long, happy and healthy life. And I think they hit the nail on the head.

Featured image by Benjamin D a vies on Unsplash