How do you deal with office politics as an overthinker?
Office politics can be one of the most challenging things about work. This can be especially hard for overthinkers. There’s often not enough time to come up with the right responses, first impressions matter the most and people often don’t say what they mean. In this article, I will give you tips on how to keep your head above the water as an overthinker, by dealing with office politics the right way.
Tip 1: Quantity over quality
In the workplace, it’s important to remember that in the end, your colleagues are not your friends. Almost everyone would say all the cliche phrases if a colleague left, for another job, retirement or for another reason. “We’ll stay in touch”, “we hope to see you again in the future”, etc. How often have you seen that colleague return, or meet up with them again? In my experience, not often.
First impressions matter. When you interact with coworkers in the office, you should always focus on quantity, not quality. What does that mean? Try to greet everyone, try to remember the small things (“How has the move been?”; “My condolences”; “Did you have a nice weekend?”). It’s usually appreciated and it shows you in a positive light.
If you sense office politics in your workplace, it’s best to avoid the so-called “quality” conversations. Don’t have in-depth conversations with colleagues one-on-one, don’t share any information that could harm you or your reputation and don’t gossip about others. Even if you know everyone gossips about everyone, it’s still best not to engage.
Tip 2: Be kind but don’t be too honest
It can be a difficult balancing act; on the one hand, you want to stay connected with your coworkers and maintain good social standing with them, on the other hand, you don’t want to get involved in any drama. Ground rule number one to achieve this is: Be kind but don’t be too honest.
How do you do this? Show interest in others, ask them how they’ve been, and how their weekend was. Small talk is safe, but sometimes, drama or commotion is inevitable. No matter if it’s a work matter or something in your private life, don’t (over)share with your colleagues. Try to keep your statements neutral, and only talk about the specific matter with people you trust completely.
For example, you just had a meeting with another team that went poorly. You had prepared a presentation, but you didn’t feel like the other attendees were listening to you or even paying attention. If your colleague asks you what’s wrong, you can either tell them everything about what happened during the meeting, or you can stick to a general statement (“It was just an intense meeting, I just need a minute”). Most people would sense that you’re not open to discussing it further and would let the subject rest.
I know how tempting it can be to share your experiences with your colleague, just to vent and feel like you’re not alone in the matter. Still, it’s best not to divulge too much, as it might come back to bite you later (for example, when the other team finds out you didn’t appreciate their presence during the meeting).
Tip 3: Don’t say anything negative
This tip is related to the previous advice. It’s only natural that you start to share more about yourself and your private life, the longer you stay at the same job. What’s important to keep in mind is that it’s best if you refrain from saying anything negative. Whether it’s about your job, work you still have to do, your relationship, your family, etc.
You don’t want colleagues to have a negative impression of you (“they only complain – they’re not fun to be around”), a negative impression of your life (“if their partner is so horrible, why do they stay together?”) or a negative impression of your work ethic (“they just got a promotion, and they’re already whining about the workload?”. Some people are very skilled in hiding their true thoughts. What may seem like an innocent vent session to you, might seem like a personal attack to someone else.
It’s safest to stay positive, and if that’s not a possibility, to stay nuanced. Yes, it might cost you some office friendships (“they’re boring, they only say what corporate wants them to say”), but it won’t cost you your reputation or your pride.
Tip 4: Avoid judging others
As an overthinker, I also pay a lot of attention to other people’s behaviour, also in the workplace. If you spend much time analyzing people’s behaviour and maybe even feeling offended or hurt by it, you are making things only more difficult for yourself. Sometimes, people don’t act because of ill intentions, but they just aren’t thinking (impossible for an overthinker). Another option is that they didn’t necessarily want to throw you under the bus, but just chose the opportunity for their gain and didn’t care about others. Either way, it’s probably easiest if you avoid casting judgment on others as much as possible.
Another benefit of this is, is that the chances of a slip-up are minimized. If you haven’t thought anything negative, or cut the thought right off as it appeared in your mind, you won’t risk blurting it out later at an undefended moment.
Tip 5: Live and learn
Finally, it’s important to remember that you will mistakes. Many times, I have looked back at the past work day or work week and thought to myself, “I shouldn’t have said that”. And that’s fine! Especially if you don’t have much work experience, it will happen much more often that you slip up or make a mistake. Just try to remember it next time, and avoid doing the same thing twice.
In summary
Office politics can be difficult to handle, and make you feel like you’re navigating a minefield, especially as an overthinker. My practical tips include: sticking to small talk, staying kind but not oversharing, only talking positively, avoiding judging others and not beating yourself up when you make a mistake. Good luck!
