How to divide your time when you’re in a relationship

When you’re in a relationship, it can often feel like you’re juggling too many things at once. Dedicating time to your partner and your relationship is important, but how do you balance your schedule when you also have other obligations such as work and school, friends, family, your own household, hobbies, sports and sleeping enough? In this article, I will give advice on how to divide your time specifically when you’re in a relationship.

Tip 1: Make a To-do-list for the week

Making a to-do list may sound daunting or completely overdone, but it really helped me keep track of my appointments, what I wanted to do that week and feeling like everything was “done” for the week. Even when you don’t have kids or don’t work full-time, your week easily fills up with a hundred-and-one appointments, little tasks and things you must remember. 

Some practical advice:

• Make a list for the coming week, preferably at the end of the current week before the new week starts. It doesn’t have to take long but try to take the time for it. You’ll thank yourself later.
• Depending on how many items you add to the list, you can stick to a weekly schedule, or daily tasks and reminders. If you’re very busy, you can also make a full-on week calendar with each day listed (maybe divided into morning, afternoon and evening). 
• Don’t hold back. Write everything done that pops up in your head, from making an appointment with the hairdresser to a short reminder to call your mom Thursday night. If it’s out of your mind and written down, you won’t have to worry about it anymore.

Tip 2: Combine when possible

When you’ve compiled a list of everything that you need to do in a week, it can seem like an unattainable task. How are there enough hours in the week to do all that? One practical tip is: to try to combine obligations, appointments or reminders whenever possible. 

How can you do that? A logical one is when you plan to meet someone, you can go for a walk, run or to the gym together to tackle both goals simultaneously. When you go hiking, there’s plenty of opportunity and time to also catch up on each other’s week. 

Another example: is meeting up with a specific goal. If you and your friends have a common hobby, try to invite them to do that activity instead of just sitting on the couch and drinking wine.

When you have many reminders planned for the day, try to go for the quick wins first. Have to make an appointment at the dentist’s office and call your health insurance? Try to do those at once, it’s very satisfying crossing two things at once from your to-do list. 

Tip 3: Plan important events or holidays in advance

Apart from your week-planning, it’s a good idea to plan important events such as birthdays, holidays or long vacations in advance. Agendas fill up fast and it’s nice to know whether you’ll be attending certain events together or if you’re going with just your own friends or family, or alone. 

It is a way to show your partner that you value their time, by letting them know in advance if they have to keep certain days free, or if you’re going to attend an event alone so they know you won’t be able to meet up that day. When doing things alone or exclusively with people from your own circle, it can be a good idea to discuss them first with your partner before agreeing to go. You don’t have to ask them permission, but it shows consideration for their time and opinion. 

Tip 4: Stay in touch with your partner every day

When you’re in a relationship, especially if you both work full-time and/or have a long-distance relationship, it can be hard to make time for each other throughout the week. Even if you can’t physically see each other, it can be nice to have a daily “check-in”, either through text, sending a picture or a phone call. 

I am a notoriously bad texter, but I try to keep in touch with my partner by texting them in the morning and at the end of the day. It doesn’t have to take much time, but it can be a simple way to show them that you thought of them. 

Tip 5: Don’t forget to rest enough

Regardless of how much you have planned for a week, getting enough rest and sleeping enough hours is always important. Sleeping is beneficial to your physical and mental health (source). Try to go relax before you go to bed and go to bed on time, so you’ll have enough energy to get through the workweek and make it to the weekend. 

If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to cancel some plans that might be too much. Also, don’t forget to plan some me-time, during which you won’t plan anything and that you can just spend by yourself, doing your favourite thing or doing nothing at all, just to unwind. 

Featured image by Icons8 Team on Unsplash